Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “run” to “hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “surrender” and “collaborate”.

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It’s not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert.

The Italians have increased their alert level from “shout loudly and excitedly” to “elaborate military posturing”. Two more levels remain, “ineffective combat operations” and “change sides”.

The Germans also increased their alert state from “disdainful arrogance” to “dress in uniform and sing marching songs”. They have two higher levels, “invade a neighbour” and “lose”.